Thursday, October 1, 2009

There Is No Middle Ground

What is your stand on denim shorts?

Once, when we were in high school, my brother Dustin and I went shorts shopping. Now, Dustin is no respecter of name brands and so he wanted to go to Wal-Mart. How sensible of him. So, there we were, perusing the aisles of possibilities when Dustin’s eyes landed on a pair of denim shorts. He picked them up and tossed them into the cart. We had moved on to a nearby rack when a chubby and otherwise unfortunate looking 10 year old ran over to the rack of denim Faded Glories we had just passed. “Mom! Cool!” he yelled as he grabbed the exact same pair of shorts Dustin had chosen and threw them into his mother’s cart. Without a word and without hesitation, Dustin removed the shorts from our own cart and placed them back on the rack.

When I recently recanted this story to Dustin, he laughed and added, “Wait, why was I buying jean shorts?” I said, “Dust, that’s not the point of this story.” He paused momentarily before asking, in truly confused tones, “yeah, but why would I buy jean shorts?”

And thus we know where Dustin stands on the matter. So now is the time for you to take a stand; there is no middle ground. Do you or don't you wear denim shorts?


  1. That story needs to stay in the Family lock box. But seriously, why would I put denim shorts into the cart? It doesn't make sense. -Dustin

  2. That is a classic Judd story!! I love it!!

    I think denim shorts are always worn by boys with awkward body types. Either a funny bubble butt or skinny chicken legs. And those shorts only ADD to the deformity. So I think that they should be ruled out for boys.

    I'm still on the fence about them for girls.

    And don't worry, Dustin. I'm sure the year was 1997 and denim shorts were all the rage then.

  3. as I haven't been seen in anything other than... ehem "yoga pants" in various stages of shabbiness since the birth of my first child, I applaud anyone who can wear anything other than a cotton/poly blend for more than 5 minutes without despairing at the discomfort of it all.

    That being said, my I don't recall seeing my husband wear denim shorts since shortly after we got married. Though it's possible I have just blocked it out.

  4. Denim shorts only belong on Daisy Duke or those few who (male or female, I'm not here to judge) were blessed with killer thighs and a tight little booty. I believe that perhaps...maybe, Dustin is one of those chosen few and that is why he put the shorts in the cart.

  5. I am wearing them right now. They match everything!

  6. I have a very tasteful pair of denim bermudas, but I don't think I could respect a man wearing denim shorts. I hate to admit that I am that shallow...

  7. My fav shorts are denim, frayed and hole baren....but its a real double standard. Gals can pull off the right pair...guys on the other hand. Lets just say Jim had a pair pre-wedding that dissapeared post wedding.


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