Friday, December 17, 2010

I Am A Super-Star

Hey guys. Long time, no see! I thought I’d share with you a few experiences Frankie and I had last night. Some are good for a laugh, others will help me get sympathy from you. Intrigued? Let’s press on.

So, I’ve been sick the last few days. The bummer about a simple sickness is that with Multiple Sclerosis, nothing is simple. The head congestion was messing with my equilibrium, which is already questionable. The brain pains were exacerbated so much that I was crying, and my vision was so bad that I couldn’t even read. My sweet Frankie gave me a blessing and decided that we needed to go to an urgent care. Haley and Nate kept Darby for us, and we went to seek medical attention. The first urgent care we went to was, of course, closed. The next one was dirty, but we got in quickly. The doctor came in and with his thick New York accent told Frankie that he was probably a great lover. Yes, that is actually what he said. He talked and talked about life in NYC and what he got for his mother for mothers’ day. He droned on about how his accent makes it impossible to understand him when he uses the word “yogurt.” He babbled about how city New Yorkers are horrible, but up-staters like me are the God-fearing salt of the earth. Finally, he wrote me some prescriptions and quieted his busy mouth.

I have pneumonia, so I was anxious to start my HUMONGOUS antibiotic and get some sleep. I woke up around 2 a.m. because I needed to go potty. Like I said, my equilibrium is way off and I probably needed help, but how embarrassing is that?! Besides, Frankie was sleeping in Darby’s room with her in case she needed one of us. So, as I was in the bathroom, I knew I was in trouble. I tried to hurry everything up, but MS also causes it to take forever for me to pee (too much info? Nah). Then, I couldn’t find the beginning of the toilet paper. So, by the time I stood to pull up my chonies and wash my hands, it was all over. I remember a loud noise, and then Frankie’s voice sounding panicked. “Hillary, what are you doing?!” “Sleeping.” That was my response. I truly thought I was in my bed. Then he asked me to roll to the side so that he could open the door. I had fainted and was blocking my bedroom door! What’s worse is that I hadn’t pulled my chonies all the way up before I passed out, so my half naked body was blocking the entrance to my bedroom as I lay on the floor, asserting that I was asleep. How humiliating.

So, this morning I have what I can only guess will eventually be a black eye. There are scrapes all over my arms and face and I have a massive goose-egg on the back of my head where it landed on the tile. My hip took the brunt of it all and I am pretty torn up! What a pathetic little story, right? It’s also kind of funny, so I had to share it with you. I have never fainted before; it was really weird. So, how about you? Have you fainted? Has anything embarrassing happened to you lately?