Friday, December 17, 2010

I Am A Super-Star

Hey guys. Long time, no see! I thought I’d share with you a few experiences Frankie and I had last night. Some are good for a laugh, others will help me get sympathy from you. Intrigued? Let’s press on.

So, I’ve been sick the last few days. The bummer about a simple sickness is that with Multiple Sclerosis, nothing is simple. The head congestion was messing with my equilibrium, which is already questionable. The brain pains were exacerbated so much that I was crying, and my vision was so bad that I couldn’t even read. My sweet Frankie gave me a blessing and decided that we needed to go to an urgent care. Haley and Nate kept Darby for us, and we went to seek medical attention. The first urgent care we went to was, of course, closed. The next one was dirty, but we got in quickly. The doctor came in and with his thick New York accent told Frankie that he was probably a great lover. Yes, that is actually what he said. He talked and talked about life in NYC and what he got for his mother for mothers’ day. He droned on about how his accent makes it impossible to understand him when he uses the word “yogurt.” He babbled about how city New Yorkers are horrible, but up-staters like me are the God-fearing salt of the earth. Finally, he wrote me some prescriptions and quieted his busy mouth.

I have pneumonia, so I was anxious to start my HUMONGOUS antibiotic and get some sleep. I woke up around 2 a.m. because I needed to go potty. Like I said, my equilibrium is way off and I probably needed help, but how embarrassing is that?! Besides, Frankie was sleeping in Darby’s room with her in case she needed one of us. So, as I was in the bathroom, I knew I was in trouble. I tried to hurry everything up, but MS also causes it to take forever for me to pee (too much info? Nah). Then, I couldn’t find the beginning of the toilet paper. So, by the time I stood to pull up my chonies and wash my hands, it was all over. I remember a loud noise, and then Frankie’s voice sounding panicked. “Hillary, what are you doing?!” “Sleeping.” That was my response. I truly thought I was in my bed. Then he asked me to roll to the side so that he could open the door. I had fainted and was blocking my bedroom door! What’s worse is that I hadn’t pulled my chonies all the way up before I passed out, so my half naked body was blocking the entrance to my bedroom as I lay on the floor, asserting that I was asleep. How humiliating.

So, this morning I have what I can only guess will eventually be a black eye. There are scrapes all over my arms and face and I have a massive goose-egg on the back of my head where it landed on the tile. My hip took the brunt of it all and I am pretty torn up! What a pathetic little story, right? It’s also kind of funny, so I had to share it with you. I have never fainted before; it was really weird. So, how about you? Have you fainted? Has anything embarrassing happened to you lately?


  1. I love you so much! I can just see your tiny crumpled little body saying "Um. . .Sleeping!" as poor Frank tries to open the door. I really want to see pictures of your black eyes here on your blog! Battle scars!

    Why do you always find the craziest Doctors? I mean, that Asian guy that diagnosed you with the accent that meant you couldn't understand him, and now this NY Dr saying that your husband was a good lover? I can just imagine Frank's face being cool as a cucumber (that's his style, of course) and then raising one eyebrow and saying to himself "Well, I don't hear anyone complaining!"

    And to answer your question, yes. I faint all the time. I faint when I get sick and ESPECIALLY when I throw up. Which luckily doesn't happen all the time. But it happened this week, and resulted in puke all over my bathroom. (When I faint I don't actually stop the puking so I kind of spew puke everywhere like a garden hose that's been turned on full blast but no one has bothered to pick up.) Marcelo was properly grossed out, but not sympathetic enough to clean it up for me.

    However, my absolute best fainting story was right after my mission. 1 week after I got back I traveled everywhere to see my family. I don't know why I did this, but my mom bought the tickets, so I wasn't complaining. First to AZ, then to UT and finally to NYC to visit Sarah. All the traveling took a toll on my immune system and I got sick on the flight back from NYC to Eureka. I had a layover in LAX and I was at the counter asking something (my flight had been canceled or delayed or I needed to pick up a ticket. You know, something like that) and I could tell I was going to need to sit down soon. But I fought it and tried to stay talking to the ticket counter lady. My speech got really slow and then the next thing I remember, everything was black. And in the middle of the nice blackness,I had the most intense pain in the back of my head (which didn't help my swiftly forming migraine). I had fainted in the middle of LAX and I went DOWN, like straight down. Like a tree. TIMMMBBBBERRRRRRRR!! Landing full force onto the back of my head.

    Next thing I know, there are United Airlines people standing over me and asking me if it is possible I am pregnant! 3 weeks off the mission, I should hope not! And the embarrassing part of it? They made me ride in a wheelchair to my next gate. I was SO humiliated. I mean, it's not finding myself with my pants halfway down, but it was embarrassing enough for me.

    Wow, what a long comment. I really made this all about me. Sorry. But I love you and hope you are feeling better.

    (To answer everyone's obvious questions: no I ma not pregnant. It was just a food-poisoning incident that caused the projectile vomiting. Because I know you all care about the state of my womb so much)

  2. Im sorry you have not been feeling well, Im glad that haley and nate are there to help out. I know Im far away but if you need anything let me know. I will help whatever way I can. Thanks for loving my sister so much!

  3. I'm so sorry you have pneumonia! I have had it twice once on Adams birthday. It's a bummer. My only fainting story is when I had a bunonectomy. I had nasty boney feet. Anyway, so had surgery + on meds. + on crutches and going potty at 3a.m.= passed out Leticia. I did get my pants up though. :) Hope you get to feeling better. Let me know if I can help.

  4. Hillary and Bingham(spelling?) you guys make me laugh..sorry Hillary you are not feeling well..tell me NOW what we can do!!!! 45 min is not far. I luckly have never fainted and especially with my pants half down..are you feeling better. I would call but you most likely don't feel like talking. LOVE YA GIRL!! see you Christmas eve??

  5. Fainted once in the bathroom at the hospital & a male nurse had to pick me up. My hospital gown was pretty much down at my waist, so he saw me in full glory.
    2nd time was when I went to have blood drawn when I was pregnant with Kacey. I knew I was going to faint or barf, so I went to the receptionist to ask where the bathroom was & went down in the waiting room in front of everyone. I woke up & a bunch of nurses were trying to drag my huge body up into a wheelchair. They asked if I was ok & all I said was "My shoe fell off."

  6. ★Merry★* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
    •。★Christmas★ 。* 。
    ° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
    ˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~\。˚ ˚ ˛
    ˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ | 田田 |門| ˚From our home to yours!! May God Bless You and Your's in the coming New Year!

  7. I fainted while at Ricks when we were disecting cats in Anat and Phys and I stepped up on a chair to see better, that was the last I remember!


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