Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Scary Beyond All Reason

Is there anything that just gives you the willies? For me, it is lizards. I shudder at the very thought of a lizard. Don’t tell Adam; he’ll catch one, tie a string to its tail and then tie the other end of the string to me! Just ask Britney (it was mice for her, and Frankie was a culprit, too); it’s no bueno. Anyway, once my dear friend Jamie came over and a lizard got in when I opened the door. In that split second, I thought, “I’ll get a cup, put the cup on the lizard, tape the lizard cup to the floor, and wait for Frankie to come home.” Jamie, sensing my hysteria, boldly offered to remove the little beast. And I let her. I let my 8 months pregnant friend bend over and touch that nasty reptile. That’s the kind of person she is, and the kind of person I am, apparently. So, as I was trying to clean the new house (we all know I’m neurotic), I went into the small bathroom to scrub it clean. I saw motion, I flinched. I fought the urge to run. I looked a little closer, making sure it wasn’t a scorpion. The closer I got, the more the dark figure appeared to be, wait for it…wait for it…, a lizard! I screamed and ran out the bathroom. I shoved something under the door so that it couldn’t get out. I called Frankie, who had little sympathy, so I considered calling Jamie. I decided that was too much and I left the house. That was Saturday morning. On Sunday night, we went over to hang some curtains. Frankie bravely searched the bathroom for the intruder, but found nothing. I went over yesterday to finish the pre-move cleaning (thanks to Alisha for babysitting the Darbs) and as I stepped into that bathroom, of course I saw that nasty lizard! But I was all alone and I needed to clean that bathroom. I put on latex gloves and got a cup and a piece of paper. I chased that creepy thing around the bathroom, screaming all the while, and finally captured him! I put him outside, finished screaming, and ran back to the house and locked the door (you know, just in case). It was traumatic, but I was so awesome!

What gives you the willies for no real reason?


  1. Well all know that spiders are the Darth to my Luke. But deep down my biggest fear, the thing that gives me the willies is heights. I would rather lay in a bed of spiders than go anywhere near anything taller than 6 feet(just got the willies while typing this).

  2. just the thought of burning alive, drowning (or suffocation) or falling to my death scares me enough that I stop the thought before I finish. I hope my enemies don't read this.

  3. Dusty, that's seriously the funniest thing i've ever read!

  4. fish. Big, fat, ugly faced fish. Bugs with ugly faces I can smash with my foot. Big, fat, ugly faced fish? Not so much.

    I can't go into the fish part of a pet store. No way, no how.

  5. Spiders. Hands down.

    I actually like lizards. It's a good thing I didn't show you that lizard crawling up your wall when we were out in your pool.

    That picture is nasty. People with facial tattoos are nasty. People who split their tongues to look like lizards are nasty.

    Oh, and spiders me persiguen. I find them crawling on me all the time. You would be freaked out by them too if that happened to you.

  6. I wouldn't even consider trying to catch mice to get rid of them. Leaving the house would still be my first option.

  7. Hil, I just realized I stole your blog title. Sorry, I guess I'm not as inventive as I thought I was.


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