Thursday, August 27, 2009

Mr. Alligator?!

Bed-time is an hour of trials in my home. From somehow tricking Darby up the stairs to the absolute stillness required for her to fall asleep, it is a battle; full of peril. Usually, the only way to get her up the stairs is for Frankie to carry her and tell her that they are going to chase Mama into her room. What Frankie well knows, but you may not, is that I am terrified of being chased. I don’t have a clue where this phobia originated, but it is real and it presents itself every night that I am chased up those stairs. It starts out as play; I pretend scream and start fake-rushing up the first few steps. Darby starts laughing and it is a fun game. Suddenly, it changes. I start hearing the heavy footsteps behind me, right on my heels. My heart begins beating faster and faster. My palms get sweaty and my steps quicken. By the time I reach the top of the stairs, my heart is pounding in my throat, my screams are real, and I have tripped on the last step. It’s like every horror film you’ve ever seen. I look over my shoulder in terror as my would-be assailant brutally continues in my pursuit, barreling ever closer, closer and I am dragging my injured body through the doorway of her bedroom, fighting back the tears as I wait for the cold clutch of death to reach me…And then I remember that it is just my sweet husband and precious daughter and we are playing a really fun game. Yes, a fun game.

What is your secret fear? Oh, my other one is lizards.


  1. I'm afraid of the dark. There I said it! Yes, I am 25 almost 26 and I admit it! I can't live in denial forever! That feels good, I'm going to scream it from the rooftops now!

  2. Hil, I was at work (on campus)the other day walking towards a building when I heard someone come running up right behind me. As the quick steps got closer and closer I turned slightly to see my would-be attacker. He ran right by me, late for class.
    What he doesn't know is that he almost got an elbow in the gut followed by a knee to the groin and a fist to the nose.

    As for fears, I'm terrified of earthquakes. When I was a kid we had a tiny little quake (with not injuries or casualties) but since then I'll sometimes wake up in the middle of the night because I think the bed and ground is shaking. I roll to the floor and crouch down, waiting for everything to quite moving (it wasn't moving) as my heart pounds and my breath comes in gasps.

  3. I too am afraid of the dark....the worst is taking out the trash at night. I try and play it cool, breath, walk slowly but surely to the barrel. But as soon as the deed is done I always find myself panicked, running towards the door, knowing that the closer I get the worse the danger is!!! At this point I don’t care what a neighborhood spectator might see or think. I fumble for the door to open, sure that death is near. Open, close, lock. Jim usually does trash duty needless to say.:)

  4. I am afraid of my beauty. It sometimes causes women to faint and take a dump in their very own chonies. It's a strange reaction, still being researched by doctors. My yellow teeth cause women to pant heavily and their eyes to roll back in their head. Crooked teeth bring screams of pleasure and I could go on, but I don't want anybody to get hurt.

  5. I am terrified of dark, slimy, algae/mosquito infested, untreated swimming pools. I can't even look at one without feeling freaked out. Remember when we went house hunting and we saw a few at the short sales? Yeah, still thinking about it.

  6. I am afraid of someone opening the front door as I am trying to lock it for the night when Brett is gone.


tell me what you're screaming