Monday, July 4, 2011

Inalienable Rights

Happy 4th of July! We spent the day as any red-blooded American would have; swimming and eating ourselves into a hot-dog coma. Of course, we came to just in time to eat apple pie, but went right back to our comatose state for the rest of the day. It was glorious.

We all know that I don’t do hamburgers. I have a strong aversion to hamburgers (except for In and Out) and the thought of squishing that gooey, sticky flesh in my precious hands to form them into patties sends my hand-washing OCD into freaking overdrive. But hot-dogs---now THOSE are something worthy of our founding fathers' assertion to the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

What I want to point out right now is the different calibers of hot-dogs. I stick only with Ball Park and Nathan’s. Those of you who brave Bar S dogs, well, I just don’t know what to make of you. Anyway, my theory is that we eat Ball Park hot-dogs mostly because of the heart-attack risk of Nathan’s hot-dogs. Once we’ve eaten Ball Park dogs until we are so full we want to die, we then indulge in Nathan’s hot-dogs, welcoming the probability of cardiac arrest. Man, those are delicious hot-dogs. Their taste is unparalleled in the hot-dog sphere. And when you bite in and scalding grease shoots into the back of your throat, you know you’ve got a good one. And some form of bypass in your future.

What is your dog of choice and how did you spend your 4th? (and no disrespect to the founding fathers and all those who fought for their freedom---I am fond of and grateful for those rights.)


  1. I had only one hot dog . . ok, I had half of Bibi's dog too. And I don't care about the brand as long as it is ALL BEEF. None of this "beef, pork and chicken combo". Ends up tasting like beef, pork and chicken butts all mashed together.

    But as you talk about the Nathan's dogs, I think I just might have to splurge and get some! They sound too good to pass up?

    Our 4th was spent fighting crowds at the Provo Freedom Festival Parade and paying $3 for the smallest scoop of "flavor ice" that you will ever see. Marcelo called it "insulting". Apparently the flavor ice offended him! While I didn't feel insulted, I did feel ripped off. And worried/smug for the predicament of those people. How could they ever make any money? Oh well, I'll let them worry about it.

    Then we came home, napped and BBQed. Marcelo had rice on the side of his BBQ, where Bibi and I had Doritos. Because seriously, rice? What is he, Ecuadorian or something?

    It sounds like you had a great 4th. And I'm just glad there was no "reversal of fortune" at any time during the gluttony. Because there is nothing more American than eating yourself sick.

  2. While Matt is not a fan, Kacey and I like Oscar Mayer bun-length turkey hot dogs. They taste nice and cheap. I guess that since leaving New York I have taken to hot dog slumming. I'm so ashamed.....

  3. I had a boring old hamburger (not much of a hot dog fan) but then was cornered by Al P. who had me taste the homemade sausage he made. He shared the sausage he was eating right off his own plate. Tore it in half with his own fingers. It was good. I'd eat it again.

  4. Jim would rather eat human flesh than and dog not endorsed by the Hebrew nation. Sometimes his dad brings home a suit case full of TED,s after a trip to buffalo. Not sure how airport security feels about it, but as a side note... Might be a great smuggling devise? I on the other hand have a more complicated pallet , as I prefer the dogs filled with an alluring processed cheese stripe.


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