Actually, my most recent baptism was by water. In the pool. Performed by Darby. I figured it was okay since she doesn't hold the proper authority, but I'm going to feel really bad for all of you if when we get there we find out that she actually does hold some type of authority.
I didn't encourage it, for any reader who is feeling particularly judgey today. She just did it, with her hand in the air and said, "We love Darby." Then she dunked me. And I felt strange; powerful.
Just kidding.
I did take the opportunity to teach a lesson or two, in case anyone thinks I'm going to hell for allowing it. Then again, I've been baptized twice, so I don't really think that I can go to hell, sucka!
You must be attending a lot of baptisms lately, for her to know all the right words. Because clearly, power is evoked when "We love Darby" is spoken.
ReplyDeleteIt reminds me of that time we all sat around in a circle, Darby in the middle, chanting "we love Darby" while holding hands and swaying from side to side. Then she stood up, raised her arms to the heavens, and laser beams shot out from her eyes and mouth. Good times.....
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