Beautiful Darby

"Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music." ~William Stafford

Tenemos Un Meaty-Meaty

You know that episode of Friends where Phoebe talks about lobsters? Well, long ago Bingham (my best friend and dearest mission companion) and I decided that we are like friend lobsters. Like, if we could be sealed to a friend for time and all eternity, Bing and I would be sealed to eachother.

And as wonderful as she is and as much as I love her, I am terrible at remembering her birthday! It is tomorrow, September 18th. She will be 30. Anyway, for years I’ve had it in my head that her birthday was October 18th and one year, I called her on October 19th and said, “Bing, I’m such a jack-ass. I forgot to call you on your birthday yesterday.” And she said, “No Judd. You are a jack-ass because you forgot to call me on my birthday a month ago.” And that’s my Bing.

So, in an attempt to redeem myself to her (I cannot blog everyone's birthday, but I owe it to Bing after all my birthday failings!), this post is to commemorate Bingham’s 30th birthday. I will follow the format set out by the primary for the birthday spotlight.

Name: Alicia Bingham Loor

Favorite Color: well, I’m not sure. That’s weird of me. But, she looks great in blue.

Favorite Food: Chifa, last time we lived together.

Favorite Thing To Do: Bing loves to be with her daughter, Evelyn, and her dog, Raya. She spends a lot of time caring for her family. She loves to read and is very, very intelligent. She also loves rugby because she is a total bad-A!

Favorite Place To Go: Bing likes to go to Ecuador. And any lake. She loves swimming (and water skiing).

Favorite Primary Song: Well, we didn’t do much primary together, but we did have to sing a lot of duets in Carapungo (every Sunday, as it were!).

Favorite Scripture Story: Bingham knows everything about the scriptures. If you make reference to some vague verse, she will be able to tell you exactly what book, chapter, and verse it is. She is amazing that way.

Something Fun For Others To Know: Bingham and I bonded our very first hour together when we somehow found out that our moms did the very same dances when we would go to Old Navy with them. She even re-enacted it for me, and it was flawless. Bingham has the ability to make anyone laugh about anything at all.

Bingaling, you are amazing. I love so much and am so thankful that you were born. Happy Birthday!

Conspiracy Theory 101

I am absolutely unhinged sometimes and I know it. A magnificent neurotic mess.

Now that you know (if you didn’t already), I’ll fill you in on one of my latest obsessions; the flu vaccination. Now, I always have Darby inoculated for the seasonal flu, but not the H1N1 virus. It’s too new and it was so shady to me the way it was pushed with scare tactics. Well, last year, not enough people got the H1N1 vaccine, so now it is just a component of the regular flu shot. So, what do I do? I think it is a freaky maneuver to force you to get both when you only want one or the other. I called Darby’s pediatrician’s office and they told me that a seasonal flu shot without the H1N1 component was not manufactured. Now I don’t know what is scarier; no vaccine or a two-fer vaccine, the second component of which is not something I want injected into my child. I’m all for modern medicine, but I also believe that there is something behind the push for inoculation. Now it is not just being pushed for the young and the elderly; it’s a push for universal vaccination. That is also weird. What do you think? I need some serious opinions here.

I’m this close to the brink of my sanity.

(p.s. as I was looking at cartoons for this post, I found freaky information about conspiracy theories that this is biological warfare, etc. Pretty freaky stuff. You should look it up a bit.)

Too Cool

For weeks Darby has been prepping me for the beginning of preschool. “Mom, you can’t come to my school with me.” Sure I heard what she said, but I felt confident that when it came down to it, she would want me there. I mean, she would want me there, right?

The day fast approached and Darby informed me that she would be taking the bus to school. I informed Darby that she would never take a bus to school.

T minus two days and counting is when Darby decided she wanted me to come to school with her. It warms a mother’s heart to hear her child console her with flattery; flattery which I was eager to accept.

The first day of preschool finally arrived and Darby was ready to go! She was ready to go from the moment she awakened and was dressed to the nines an hour before school started. We got in the car and made our way toward the huge milestone ahead of us.

We walked into the school and Darby quickly found her cubby and chair. As others filtered in, I hung back and just watched Darby enjoying her new adventure. Kids were clinging to their mothers’ legs, screaming while their little hands were pried away from their safety net. My sweet baby was doing fine, so I decided that I’d better leave before she realized that she, too, needed her mama.

I approached her to give her a kiss and tell her what a great day it was going to be for her. As I neared my darling 4 year old on her first day of school, she looked up at me with an angelic, if not surprised, face.

“Why are you still here?” were her actual words.

So much for a baby needing her mama! I slinked away in embarrassment at the snub I had just received from my posterity.

Darby is doing great in preschool and is not troubled by any pesky attachment to her nerdy mom.


(sorry for the terrible picture; we finally got a charger for our camera battery, but now i cannot find the cord to attach it to the computer, so i web-cammed a picture from the camera. i know, i'm ghetto).

Useless Thoughts On Hair

Sometimes I look at women with long hair and think that their tresses are so beautiful and that maybe I should grow my hair out again. Then I remember having long hair and I re-promise myself that I will never do that again!

For a really long time, my hair was down to the bottom of my back. I was too scared to part with my identity as “the girl with long hair.” About a year into our marriage, I decided to chop it all off and luckily, my Frankie supported my decision. I’ve had short hair ever since and I will never, ever grow it out again! In fact, I want it shorter and shorter. Looking back on pictures of myself with long hair I think, “Gross!” Now, some people really do look good with long hair, but some people do not. I am one of the latter. I’m no longer “the girl with long hair.” I’m actually probably “the girl with a really bad haircut” or “the girl who ought to grow it out”, but at least I can take a chance. And really, for how long can you have long hair without looking like a lady who is too old for long hair? What do you think is the age cut-off? I’m not saying we all need Golden Girl hair (but I’m totally planning on it), just wondering how old is too old for long hair?

Where Have I Been All Your Life?

So, let’s catch up. Aramie and Kacey (my sister and niece) were here for a few weeks and we had a good time. The girls did not get along, which was a bummer, but when you put two only children together, mayhem is guaranteed to ensue. So, in a nutshell, the girls fought, Aramie and I laughed and ate, my friends loved my sister (of course), and I almost choked to death twice. It was good times.

Now that my brother Nate and his wife, Haley, are moving down, something new has been brought to my realization. Hostess Ding-Dongs have 19 grams of fat and 360 calories a pop! Well, serving size is actually 2 dongs. I know that seems unrelated, but as skinny as my brother is, he is made up of probably 78% processed sugar. When Nate lives here, there is always good food around. So, between my brother and Frankie, the probability of diabetes just skyrocketed in the Parmenter household! Anyway, I only realized those ding-dong stats after I ate one! And I didn’t even like it that much.

What is something deplorable that you love to eat?

Was It You?

Sorry I’ve been so scarce; my sister and niece are in town. I do need to update you on an Adventure of Darby Danae. You don’t want to miss this one.

Aramie and I took our daughters to Hobby Lobby (my fave) and were looking around when Darby realized suddenly that she needed to use the bathroom. “Mom, I have to poop.” Ah, the words every mother loves to hear while shopping in a dirty and unkempt store. We searched for a bathroom and once we found it, were horrified to see that literally every stall in the place was open and each toilet full of doo-doo. Nice. I said, “Sorry Baby, we are going to have to go home. All of these toilets already have poop in them.” I alerted Aramie and we grabbed our daughters and made our way to the front of the store, where we could exit. Darby wanted me to carry her, and as we moved from the back of the store to the front of the store, my sweet little Darbenstien pointed her tiny little finger at each person we passed. She had on her best stink-eye and used her most authoritative and accusatory tone as she said, “Who pooped in the toilet?!”

Seriously, like 20 people were accused by my three year old of pooping in the toilet at Hobby Lobby. The last person received the most venom as Darby pointed, accused, and even slung an insult; "Who pooped in the toilet?! That dirty rat." True story.

As we’ve always expected and been barely able to escape these last 3 years, Darby and I can no longer be seen in respectable society (but after our bathroom experience, can we really call our society ‘respectable?’). If you need us, we are quarantined in our home practicing our manners.

But I think the real issue at hand is exactly what put us in the predicament in the first place; who pooped in the toilet?