Sunday, March 27, 2011

You Give Me Fever

And not the good kind! Panda Express, my love and knife, gave me a healthy dose of fricking food poisoning. Never again, Panda. NEVER AGAIN. And for my Ecuas out there, Nunca mas jamas!

So, after barfing multiple times and laying on the bathroom floor, shaking and falling in and out of sleep (it was 2 a.m. and I was so, so tired! Why is it that the throw-ups never hit when you are well rested?) I was feeling angry that I had just cleaned the bathroom that day. And also, I was feeling grateful that I had just cleaned the bathroom that day! Being that close to a clean toilet is just so much better than the alternative. But, I knew that, being the germ-a-phobe that I am, I would be cleaning the bathroom again within the next twelve hours. I mean, I’m a clean person even when sick, but just in case. So, as I lay on the bathmat, reaching my hand up to wipe down the seat with a Clorox wipe, a new anger overtook me…

What a freaking waste of money!

Good to know that I am both neurotic and cheap even in the most dire of circumstances.

And then my poor Darby awakened and knocked on the bathroom door, asking, “Mom, can I come in?” That sweet little honey. No baby, no. You cannot come in.

Have you ever had food poisoning?


  1. O Hillary so sorry!! Kris and I had either food poisioning or the 24 hour flu but either way it was MISERABLE..hugging the toilet and then laying in bed with a ache that you've never had and feeling so weak & the chills. BLAH NEVER AGAIN to that I say!!!!

  2. Ye, Burger King Whopper, 12 grade. To this day I have never eaten another whopper. Can't really eat anything from there,nope just can't do it! Hope you feel better now.

  3. I'm so sorry you were sick. There is nothing more miserable than food poisoning. It's even worse when it comes out both ends. Did I really just say that? Yes...yes, I did.

  4. I had a "both ends" experience about 6 weeks ago. I tried to blame it on the baby, but then we all got some version of the poisoning over the next 24 hours. Holding a bowl and sitting on a toilet is something I thought I would never again repeat outside of Ecuador.

    But I'm so sad it was over Panda Express! Because that is what I crave these days. P.E. and Thai food! Well, now I know where we will NOT be eating!

    Oh, and I totally threw away the bowl I was holding. I couldn't look at it the same ever again.

    I love your stories. And I still feel badly about the time I made you go Jogging with me and you came up and curled around the (NOT CLEAN) toilet bowl for the next 3 hours. Those things weren't related, but the fact that they happened so close to each other made me feel guilty.

  5. Ooooh . . . I am hurting for you!

  6. It's funny you mention...the worst food poisoning I ever got was from Panda Express! It was like 3 years ago. chicken and mushrooms and that fried rice bit. What did you eat?
    Hope all is better and that your toilet is clean once again. :)

  7. Hill Im Sooo sorry! Thats the worst, but Im glad you had a clean john to spew in. Also….wich panda did you eat at so I can avoid it @ all costs.

  8. The year was 2002. I had just married the 1st husband & was on my honeymoon. I spent day & night in the bathroom for 3 days & when I wasn't there I was lying in bed praying for death!

  9. Aramie, was the death prayer a result of the food poisoning or the first husband?


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