Sorry I’ve been so scarce; my sister and niece are in town. I do need to update you on an Adventure of Darby Danae. You don’t want to miss this one.
Aramie and I took our daughters to Hobby Lobby (my fave) and were looking around when Darby realized suddenly that she needed to use the bathroom. “Mom, I have to poop.” Ah, the words every mother loves to hear while shopping in a dirty and unkempt store. We searched for a bathroom and once we found it, were horrified to see that literally every stall in the place was open and each toilet full of doo-doo. Nice. I said, “Sorry Baby, we are going to have to go home. All of these toilets already have poop in them.” I alerted Aramie and we grabbed our daughters and made our way to the front of the store, where we could exit. Darby wanted me to carry her, and as we moved from the back of the store to the front of the store, my sweet little Darbenstien pointed her tiny little finger at each person we passed. She had on her best stink-eye and used her most authoritative and accusatory tone as she said, “Who pooped in the toilet?!”
Seriously, like 20 people were accused by my three year old of pooping in the toilet at Hobby Lobby. The last person received the most venom as Darby pointed, accused, and even slung an insult; "Who pooped in the toilet?! That dirty rat." True story.
As we’ve always expected and been barely able to escape these last 3 years, Darby and I can no longer be seen in respectable society (but after our bathroom experience, can we really call our society ‘respectable?’). If you need us, we are quarantined in our home practicing our manners.
But I think the real issue at hand is exactly what put us in the predicament in the first place; who pooped in the toilet?
Aramie and I took our daughters to Hobby Lobby (my fave) and were looking around when Darby realized suddenly that she needed to use the bathroom. “Mom, I have to poop.” Ah, the words every mother loves to hear while shopping in a dirty and unkempt store. We searched for a bathroom and once we found it, were horrified to see that literally every stall in the place was open and each toilet full of doo-doo. Nice. I said, “Sorry Baby, we are going to have to go home. All of these toilets already have poop in them.” I alerted Aramie and we grabbed our daughters and made our way to the front of the store, where we could exit. Darby wanted me to carry her, and as we moved from the back of the store to the front of the store, my sweet little Darbenstien pointed her tiny little finger at each person we passed. She had on her best stink-eye and used her most authoritative and accusatory tone as she said, “Who pooped in the toilet?!”
Seriously, like 20 people were accused by my three year old of pooping in the toilet at Hobby Lobby. The last person received the most venom as Darby pointed, accused, and even slung an insult; "Who pooped in the toilet?! That dirty rat." True story.
As we’ve always expected and been barely able to escape these last 3 years, Darby and I can no longer be seen in respectable society (but after our bathroom experience, can we really call our society ‘respectable?’). If you need us, we are quarantined in our home practicing our manners.
But I think the real issue at hand is exactly what put us in the predicament in the first place; who pooped in the toilet?
The Grand~girls will pee in the bushes before they will use a dirty potty or a port~a~potty!!
ReplyDeleteDarby was right, Was it you??
Stink eye for everyone in the place! How did you keep a straight face as you walked out of there?
ReplyDeleteAnd how is EVERY stall filled with poop? I bet there is a poop bandit who goes from stall to stall in every store making sure that everyone is filled with poop before you arrive. Your own special "poop ambassador"
Ok, I admit it. I am your poop ambassador.
oh my heck, I would be laughing so hard if a little kid told me that. Darby is the cutest thing ever. I love how kids will tell you whats on there minds, its so bold and up front.
ReplyDeleteNever been to Hobby Lobby! I am innocent!!!
ReplyDeleteI was a witness to this interrogation by the Darbster. I was sweating it for a bit, until I remembered that it was my first visit to Hobby Lobby and I had been nowhere near the bathrooms.
ReplyDeleteThis was honestly one of the funniest spectacles I have ever seen. I love that funny girl!
Glad she didn't have to go potty when we were in Hobby Lobby! Hope you are having fun with Aramie and Casey!
ReplyDelete